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09 April 2010 @ 05:22 am
I never could have imagined this.  
Well, I was definitely more excited and happy about yesterday last night, before going to sleep. But then, I couldn't stop thinking about all the "what if's" which is a problem I have a lot of. So anyways, I kept thinking "what if everything gets screwed up?" "what if I failed the Spanish test yesterday and my mom contributes that to having One Day Without Shoes going on?" "what if I relapse?" "what if I mess something up and everyone hates me?" ...the list goes on and on. But really, it was an amazing day yesterday. The best in a really, really long time. Which is why I'm so afraid of losing it.

It started out a wonderful day. I was in a good mood, I had my shirt for ODWS, notecards to pin to myself about it, and handouts to give to people if the student government was going to help me set up a table for it. Then I felt really, really sick, right before we left to pick up my "friend" *coughpersonidon'tlikecough* but we were still on time so no big deal.

Got to Spanish class, Girl: What are you wearing? Are you dressed up as something?" Me: No, it's for One Day Without Shoes... and I go into my little informational spiel about it. Girl: Oh, that's cool. End conversation, sit down. A couple people asked why I had stuff pinned to me, but nothing major. The teacher let me speak in the beginning of class. Profesora: Did you want to tell the class about what you're doing today? *twenty heads turn and look at me* Me: Uhm, I guess so *nervous laugh* So I went into my little spiel again and people kind of nodded and whatever. Profesora: And there was another day you were going to be doing, coming up soon, did you want to tell us about that? Me: Oh, yeah, sure. The Day of Silence is... and I go into another little spiel about that. Jees, nerve-wracking much? Yes, a lot.

Took Spanish test, probably didn't do too well, but we get to drop one lowest score, and my other tests have been better so I'm not too worried about it. Leave class, head down to the student government room, which has a closed door. Weird, every other time I've seen it, it's been open. Maybe they're in a meeting. Girl walks into room, they say something, she walks out. Me: Are they in a meeting or something? Girl: I don't know, that's what I'm trying to figure out, the door shouldn't be closed. Me: Oh. *stands awkwardly for a moment* I think I might have said something like "well, can I go in?" to no one in particular. So this guy who'd talked to me and my friend before opened it and was like "it's fine, just go in" and at this point I'm like a ball of nervousness. Social anxiety, that crap sucks. I manage to say I talked to the president of the student government on Tuesday about coming to the meeting and setting up a table afterwards. Girl who I totally know was there on Tuesday when I was talking about it: What shoe thing? Well, you can just come to the meeting then. It's at noon, in room 410. Me: I don't know where that is.

She showed me where, and at this point I was like freaking out and totally shut down, not knowing what I'd gotten myself into. I wanted to just go home and forget about it, but I didn't want to blow it off, because I made the committment. So I waited until my "friend" finished her test, we went to the cafeteria, on the way to which I fell down the stairs maybepossiblyalittlebit and twisted my ankle. My pants have studded pockets though, and I'm pretty sure I got bruised. Brushed myself off and walked with absolutely no dignity left. My "friend" got picked up, and I had almost two hours until the meeting. So I go and sit down at the top of the steps. I'd been there for awhile when the girl who had been trying to figure out why the student government door was shut walked up. Nicest person ever.

She asked if I was interested in student government, because I'd been trying to talk to them, and I said no, and explained about ODWS and that they were going to let me talk and then help me set up a table. She was totally nice, and said I could sit with her at the meeting and stuff. So I walk to the meeting with her and the student government president who had helped me on Tuesday. I talk at the beginning and they're all very receptive about it, which is great.

So, they get to nominating people for the student government seats that are open. And the treasurer says "And I'd like to nominate Christy (the girl who'd helped me) ... and Melissa." Heh. That's me ^_^ so I got nominated and voted in, when all I went there to do was talk about ODWS. Now I'm on student government, and next week I'm going to try to get into the Awareness Club, because that'd be perfect for an excuse to know about the Day of Silence.

Anyways, I set up a table for about two hours and the other guy that got voted in today helped me out with it, and I passed out handouts and talked about the organizations. So everything got totally better and it was amazingly great.

I've never felt more accepted or felt like I fit in somewhere until now. And all of a sudden, it happened. I just don't want to lose it. Because this happiness, it couldn't be more fulfilling.
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Radio.